Thursday, February 6, 2014


Last weekend I discovered that even coming down to a continent many people can't find on a map isn't far enough away to escape the horrible scourge of foozbald.  Last Sunday our IT department temporarily changed the traffic prioritization rules for our incoming satellite connection, letting through just enough video bandwidth that we were able to host a screening of  an event where huge fat guys stand around scratching themselves for long periods of time before occasionally running into each other.

Then this giant dude in shiny pants threw a misshapen ball made of dead pig at another dude in shiny pants and then he ran super-fast across all these painted lines while more dudes in shiny pants leapt for his glistening buttocks until he eventually cross this other line which was apparently magical and made everyone in the crowd stand up and dance and clink brewskies with each other WOOOOOO YEAH GO SPORTBALL!

(If it wasn't clear, I don't watch sports and my understanding of it may not be totally sound [I'd love to pretend I'm actually this funny/creative, but I'm not.  Props to The Oatmeal])

Problem is that our company's corporate headquarters, and hence a large portion of our staff, is from Denver.  This resulted in the room getting very sullen, very quickly.  It didn't take long before people started breaking out the iPads and laptops to distract themselves as apparently, the men wearing the wrong color of shiny pants were running across more painted lines than the other shiny pants men.

Myself, I focused on the food. Because there's no rule stating that you actually have to look at all the glossy butts before you gorge yourself sick on hot wings, chili dogs, and potato skins.

Maybe with some luck, my room mate and I can convince the IT people to similarly open the Inter-tube gates to allow the upcoming MotoGP races through.  You know, so people can watch a sport that's actually fun. (Not that I'm biased or anything)

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