Sunday, January 26, 2014

Another Dam ship

Early last week the Holland America cruise ship Zaandam stopped by our station, the second successful visit of one of the mega-ships this season.  This ship carries over 2,000 people and it would be completely impossible to rotate that many people through station for tours, so instead we pile into some zodiacs and go out for an "Off-Shore Lecture".

It was a similar experience to last season; us wandering around the ship for half a day looking hilariously out-of-place.  Someone joked with one of the crew members that this ship was so large one of us could stow away on it to head north, but got a chuckle in response.  "Nah", they said, "There's no way you guys could blend into this crowd".  Can't say I disagree.

We gave a presentation in the ship's theater about the USAP, followed by some Q&A from the audience members, and then we were turned loose to attack the ship's salad bar.

And the desert bar
Myself, I headed to the same place I went the last time I was on one of these ships; the spa.

I went with their "Mini spa day" package deal, which came with a body massage, followed by a facial and hair service.  And because I opted for a deep-tissue massage as opposed to the standard Swedish massage, the lady was a stout Romanian woman named, I am not kidding, Helga. This wasn't a relaxing massage, this was a grit-your-teeth-and-bear-it type of massage.

Weirdly and slightly awkwardly, as she was digging her elbows into my back she commented like a thousand times (okay, three or four times) about how nice she thought my body was. "You have very nice shape, most of my clients here are very old and fat!", "You have no fat on your legs at all!", "You are so nice and lean!" and "It's so easy to find each of your muscles, I don't have to try and feel them under much fat!".  Uh . . . thank you?

Anyway, after she was done making everything hurt, she smeared a bunch of mud on my face and stuck cucumbers on my eyes for a while, and then after a shower it was off to the hair salon.

I had to patiently explain the concept of a mohawk to the nice lady who was looking at me funny, but eventually the idea was conveyed.  After cutting my hair into the required shape, it was bleached as near to white as they could get it. 

They were even nice enough to bring me tea while I waited for the chemicals to burn their way through my scalp and into my brain.

Eventually it was time to leave, so we climbed back into the zodiacs and made our way back to station, blond mohawk and all.  But now I'm left with the question . . . with this freshly stripped hair, what color do I want to make it now?


BabyWeightMyFatAss said...

Raspberry looks nice... If it was Christmas I would go with the red and green.

Katherine said...

I've never dyed my hair myself, but I'm sure the folks at /r/FancyFollicles would have suggestions. Purple seems to be the most popular.

Drewid95 said...

Never anything wrong with a classic green mohawk!

M Gardner said...

I don't remember if it was RAW or Manic Panic, but when I dyed my hair it smelled a lot like bubblegum, which was fun. Green and blue don't usually last as long, although with a small amount of bleached hair, it should be find. Red and purple would last longer, but it depends on how often you wash your hair. If you do so often, you'll probably wash the first one out enough to do a different one.